You can easily find something to protest about
Wednesday Ramblings
The protest season is coming up and it is time for all citizens to prepare for their inalienable right to take to the streets for the most minor matter. Equipment for protesting is pretty basic but should be carried at all times. First a thick piece of fluorescent orange paper, a black marker and a stick. This is all you need. Now go find something to protest about. This of course should not be difficult. Let's imagine you are in the market and a vendor sells you two rotten tomatoes. Simply pull out your cardboard and scribble "We Want Good Tomatoes" and chant around the stand until you are hurriedly given an extra pound of them. At a government office and not getting through? Same technique "We want our birth certificates!" This could be a little tricky as the government workers are likely to be on strike and you might end up lost in the mix. In fact the protest situation is considered so big that a number of citizens have formed a group called Citizens against Protests (CAP) and they will be ...protesting this weekend. Don't let this deter you. You can still protest at home. If you are watching the news on television and see some protestors simply set up your slogans and march around the living room with them. Let the children join in. They are never too young to march. If Mark Benschop should be getting up your nose, write "Oh Shut up!" and shake your fist at the television. It's OK, let out the anger! The fact is you have to be ready to protest at any time. If you see a protest, join in! Don't worry about the cause. The sheer joy of protesting should be your only motivation. All this activity comes from the dawn of the "New Era of Sensitivity." Discrimination of any kind is to be confronted at every opportunity. No longer can mini buses carry signs saying "No fat chicks." This is an affront not only to fat people but to poultry. The expression "Are you deaf or what?" is a terrible disparagement of the hearing impaired. So next time whisper it. Representatives of pigs have come out strongly against the expression "He eats like a pig" and want it known that swine have excellent table manners holding their fork and knife with their trotters. Even those persons called Richard are affronted by the insulting use of their shortened name. Babies have formed an association which gurgles against the expression "Don't be a baby!" And inevitably those who discriminate have formed their own group with the reasoned call for persons to be more discriminatory in their protests. Their slogan is "You are a bunch of fat, deaf pigs"
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