There's a lot to be said for the KISS
Culture
Stabroek News
January 13, 2007
Weddings are joyous occasions but there are some aspects of the day that some of us would cut short if it weren't for that thing called tradition. The rules are all unwritten, and as much as you would rather keep it short and simple (KISS), to break any of them seem so wrong.
Having recently witnessed the nuptials of two of our very own at this newspaper, we could not help but reflect on a few of the painful wedding stories friends and family have shared in the past. By painful we really mean funny and sympathetic.
Most people prefer to skip the church ceremony and join in at the reception for the fun and fete but those of us who do share in that blessed, binding moment between man and woman would know how special it is to witness every time.
There is something sweet and very heart-warming about the exchange of vows. It signifies so much, yet sometimes seems to mean so little at times to some couples a few years down the road.
If we were to pick a highlight from the church ceremony it would be the kiss and this is where you should abandon the KISS. It's a big deal and an even bigger deal when the new Mr and Mrs choose to prolong it. American actor Tom Cruise reportedly kissed his bride Katie Holmes for over three minutes. We know at least one couple who kissed for four minutes and they are not celebrities! Just imagine that some couples might have kissed for much longer.
Another great thing about the kiss is that when that time comes we know for sure the service is over.
Then it's photographs time when the newlyweds seem to actually want to take a picture with you.
In the bride's case her makeup is still fresh, she is on cloud nine and she smiles genuinely. By the time she gets to the reception the demands of the day are beginning to get to her. Even if she doesn't show it, half of the smiles she flashes at the reception are plastered on-this is understandable.
Taking hundreds of photographs is no picnic, as exciting as it sounds, particularly when cameras are coming at you from all angles. One could argue that the bride and groom would have already prepared themselves for this but there's a big difference to just saying it and having to do it again and again and again… even when the result is a photo album of lasting memories.
Perhaps more arduous than any other aspect of the day are the toasts. Yes they are by far the scariest part because you have no idea what some people are going to say and for how long. And the toasts always come before dinner which is another area of concern for those of us who just want to eat.
Generally, the good toasts are heartfelt, funny, touching or brief.
Having a prepared programme for the reception is always a good idea and limiting the speeches is an ingenious one. As hurtful as it sounds everyone who wants to speak cannot be permitted to particularly when they do not have anything to say.
One bride told us she opted not to have a programme for the reception and just allowed people to get up and wish them well. That went on and on and she admitted to sitting there hungry and waiting for the torture to end.
A good middle ground is to have a reception programme which leaves room for a limited number of speeches outside the traditional ones. While it's still risky because you don't know if Cousin Egbert is going to get up and talk about how you ran around without underpants until you were six years old, Great Aunt Mavis might manage to get in her two cents worth of marital advice, though she remained a spinster all her life, and favourably consider leaving her estate to you after all. thestabroekscene@yahoo.com