Breaking up
Culture Box
Stabroek News
February 10, 2007
Break-ups happen everyday yet something about them never grows old. So when your girlfriend turns up and says she is through with a guy or that he has dumped her you find yourself in that position some of us know so well: dying to know what happened.
With your arms locked in hers or around her shoulders you sit her down if she isn't sitting down already and wait for her to open up. If it happens to be bunch of women waiting to hear her story someone in the group is likely to be impatient. "Girl I am dying over here if you don't start talking I am going to collapse," is a possible statement and though some of us might say we are not guilty of ever doing that, chances are we were very close to at some point in time.
After she spills you reassure her that everything is going to be okay. Others swear that the next time they see the man he will either get a tongue-whipping or a really nasty look even if your friend was the one who walked away. Know why? It all goes back to the man.
Break-ups allow for some quality female bonding but more importantly, they allow girlfriends to sit down and ask themselves serious questions about life, love, relationships and men. Still, the most exciting part is knowing your girl is single again: that she is free to go anywhere with you whenever you feel up to something.
Many women lose out on that aspect of their lives while building a relationship with a man. They stop spending time with friends, make excuses for not calling and only sometimes will they admit to devoting all the available time they have to that relationship.
There are tons of break-up stories out there, some so juicy you cannot help but find sheer enjoyment in listening to them. There are others where you must pull out the Kleenex and cry a long cry with your girlfriend because her heart is broken and she feels as if the world has ended. Those are the times when a group hug feels like the most comforting thing in the whole world.
Though every break-up story probably has a tear-jerker in it nearly all have some ingredient where you get a chance to knock the male species. Many women might not come clean on this but we do so enjoy a good male bashing session. It is perhaps the most 'feel good' part of the break-up sit down; at least for your girlfriend who is hurting.
Watching US actress Jennifer Anniston in The Break-up is kind of uplifting for a woman who is about to break-up with a man or just broke up with him because Anniston's character is realistic and what she faces is everyday stuff in the lives of many. Added to that she plays hardball which is something many women want to do but are afraid for one reason or the other.
The thing about break-ups is that no one ever really envisions them. Who gets into a relationship to break-up with someone? Well except for Kate Hudson in the movie, How to lose a Guy in Ten Days? When you are in a relationship you believe it is for keeps and if the day comes that you realize it isn't that should be the time you call it quits.
Why hold onto to something that is not going anywhere or makes no sense anymore is as good a question as any. Not every break-up needs to be messy though, some do end amicably.
And there is such as thing as having too many break-ups; no woman should ever put herself in a position where she has to kiss more than a couple of frogs. It might be called a break-up but somewhere in there is an underlying message, which is that the next time you attempt to enter a relationship take a long, hard look to see whether it's worth the time and the aggravation. thestabroekscene@yahoo.com